Posted on Tuesday, 7/14/2009 - 6:05 p.m. PDT — by abit5150
Last July, I started a website with forums for the wives of law enforcement officers across the country; although since then, we've had some new members from as far away as the U.K, Australia and Canada as well. The main focus of the forums is to offer support, friendship and a "sisterhood" with other wives of law enforcement officers who can understand what being married to a law enfocement officer is all about.
Since it's inception, I've strived to grow a subsidiary of sorts, offering additional support and resources for the families of officers who lose their lives in the line of duty. We've named this subsidiary W.I.N.G.S (When In Need, Giving Support). This program relies heavily on donations and small proceeds from the sales of law enforcement related merchandise in our online stores (www.cafepress.com/leowives and www.zazzle.com/leowives ) Up until now, all we've been able to do is send condolence cards to the families; however, since the tragic loss of the four Oakland Police Officers a few months ago, we started a coin donation drive so we could make a monetary donation to the children left behind. This is something we would like to continue in an effort to donate more to those in need.
If you would be willing to allow us to put a "coin can" in your business, we would greatly appreciate it. Unfortunately, in the line of duty deaths are up 20% this year over last year. A statistic none of us want to hear, but if we can help, even just a little, I like to think we can make a small difference for those children left without a mother or father.
If you are interested, please get in touch with me via e-mail @ admin@leowives.com and I would be more than happy to provide you with anything necessary to show my legitimacy. Feel free to take a look at our site: www.leowives.com you can also make a donation directly from our front page through paypal.
Thank you for reading.
Joined: Oct 2008
Current Posts: 47
As a member of C.O.P.S. (Concerns of Police Survivors for more than 14 years, I am always concerned when groups show up and no one in our large circle of COPS members have heard of their group.
C.O.P.S. is a 503(c)(3) no profit organization with the following mission statement:
Concerns of Police Survivors provides resources to assist in the rebuilding of the lives of surviving families and affectec co-workers of law enforcement officers killed in the line of duty as determined by Federal Criteria. Furthermore, C.O.P.S. provides training to law
enforcement agencies on survivor victimization issues and educates the public of the need to support the law enforcement profession and its survivors.
There is also another group based in Martinez, open to any spouse of a law enforcement officer. This group is also a non-profit 503(c)(3) organization with its own set of rules and goals. It also is fully supported by both donations and an annual crab feed.
Joined: Oct 2008
Current Posts: 47
When I realized that COPS is support for SURVIVORS, and all of our other social groups serve a wonderful and necessary role in happy, healthy leo lives, I simply tried to use my records to explain that it's likely gals in most states can go through state chartered clubs. Any Police Wives group can charter with Peace Officers Wives California. I was trying to clear up the difference in the two organizations. Many wives will never find themselves in need of C.O.P.S. and I sincerely hope no one in your police family becomes a reason for anyone in your Department to need to utilize COPS. Write me and and least let me know you got the one with all of the research. I mean well. However, I still would not go for the T Shirts, and I do not get what is costing you so much. Perhaps you would share this with me?
Joined: Oct 2008
Current Posts: 47
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M Subject: where is the post I wrote earlier
Where is the post I wrote where I explained, and made some amends? Did you delete it or did I lose it? I will look again tomorrow. I am NOT a bad person, really, we just got off on the wrong foot. But I am not well so I have to go to bed.
Wendi
Joined: Oct 2008
Current Posts: 47
Your connection to National COPS means in fact you are a survivor, you can explain the membership in COPS (or as we say, the most healthy club you never want to become a member of... (I am very sorry for your loss, Jennifer)
And you would be able to explain this difference between all of the fun wives and support group that is there in case tragedy srikes. Preparation . It does not cause harm.
Please explain the difference...
Thank you.
Joined: Nov 2009
Current Posts: 5
Wendy... what is your problem,honestly.
We are a support group for Law Enforcement Officers Wives,we never claimed to be anything else,nor did we say we are anything like C.O.P.S...As LEOWives,we all KNOW what C.O.P.S. stands for and what it is.I wear their blue ribbon each and every year at the Police Memorial.
Our group is not just for fun.....we support each other thru OIS,to shift changes,ETC..From IOD's to friends suicide (who was on the job).Yes, we also do have fun,sharing other things.BUT we also discuss things like what we need to know and do,in case the most terrible thing can happen to us......
We also get *Newbies* to the job,who are confused,or just want to ask questions about what to expect with their husbands being on the job.
Maybe you think we wives do not need that kind of support forums,but a lot of us do.I have know most of the members on LEOW. for 5 years now,I know who they are and what they are about.I also belong to my local Police Wives Association ,which my husbands Department supports.We have guest speakers once a month,topics reaching from IOD,to alcohol abuse,cheating,ETC..
Wendy....if you are who you say you are,supporting the Survivors of LEO's ,then I would expect,that you would show a bit more respect towards the Wives of living LEO's.
Joined: Oct 2008
Current Posts: 47
response to abit5150. Hope it helps you understand I mean no harm and in fact, we all have to be strong women to be Police Families
Wouldn't your life be easier if you raised money in your local area since you have clearly stated that you do not live in the community of Discovery Bay, Ca? There are a lot of Police and Fire Fighter families in our area, and in addition to an active bunch of recognized COPS Chapters, many Departments have their own wives/spouse/family groups already. And as I stated before, for some groups (Oakland, CA are CHP and the 391 club, the local 100 Club and CCCPOA as the larger clubs) there are many gals who may belong to more than one club. But we all know each other, and because our local wives club is over 50 years young, almost all of the Officers run into each other either in schools, on special assignment, or work together. We do not need drama or coffee cans to know, solve, understand or raise money ( a lot or a little, in a hurry or over time) The Departments with LODD over the last ten years generally still have memorials on the day of the loss, which is so good for the kids as they get to know about the parent, and the Officers get back so much more than they gave by knowing the kids and families. And they learn things, too! Like how it CAN take nearly all day to assemble the world's fanciest basketball hoop for your partners kid, who looks so much like him, and you can nearly hear his voice... With people being so busy, we have groups that meet all kinds of times, to accomodate school, baseball, some of the mom's work part time, etc
And our "Sunshine" Committee sends cards with checks to Departments all over the country when we learn of a loss. Lots of small checks can make a difference while people learn how to start to live again.
And the Outlet weekends are enormously popular, as are the Longaberger and Scrapbook parties. You need not scrap to come and chat.
And, to TRY to be fair, I called 10 friends today and not one thinks the coffee can, even in the squad room, because who knows who goes into some of them, is the right way to go. Some groups (C.O.P.S.) sell logo caps and Tee shirts, and things on their web set and at the store in D.C. Some groups hold raffles for, say, an Officer who is ill, with prizes donated from the community. It just looks better when you wear either your shirt or ball cap and carry your raffle tickets. And start with people you already do business with: your hair dresser, neighbors (who often WANT to help, but don't know how they can help) and of course, if you have an annual crab or spaghetti dinner, sell those raffle tickets, and get the best donated prizes you can get.
And there are many on line sites where you can make great shirts for your club-sell to anyone who wants one- meaning you make a patch, since it's not likely you can steal a Dept patch!
Order Lanyards for the kids ID thingies they wear now, or teddy bears (or ask for gently used teddy bear for the patrol cars) Make fliers to announce all meetings. Get to know the front office gals, and other Officers wives who may not be in a group. You might be someone's life saver, you never know. Take Crime Prevention "goodies" when/if you travel internationally as it can be great fun and a great way to get that "private" tour of whatever...
And, Lastly, the most important thing we did was to always keep the phone tree active, and make hubby bring home a roster copy so if someone calls to ask for him, we know whether or not we really have to wake him up! (Yes, Sir, Chief, he's RIGHT HERE :)
And, I do exist, and am as easy to find as a full moon! And I say the same things whether I have been ID'd or not as I am very active in neighborhood activities and my family lives in the same gated golf community (retired) as nearly half of the cops we knew and worked with.
You have to comb your hair just to make a milk run, you're sure to run into SOMEONE!!! While I am still a little confused about the group you are starting, because it doesn't need be so complicated, I would sure ask your best friends for financial support, or even sponsorship from whatever state Police Wives group you would fall in with. Or have those parties and use the proceeds as long as you need the money.
Best wishes and stay safe,
Wendi R.
Joined: Oct 2008
Current Posts: 47
I hate to do this, but this group does not sound legitimate to me, and the statistics regarding line of duty death are just not correct. It is the California Law Enforcement Memorial Down and there is also the PORAC magazine.
Please go to this web site and look at both 2008, when the number of Peace Officers killed in the line of duty was 138. Then change the year tab to 2009, where the stats are current with the loss of LEO at 100, current to October 11, 2009.
And, it is not usual for Police groups of any kind to solicit money via coffee can (or jar) because people will have no idea where the money really will go. And survivors are well taken care of immediately and for as long as necessary between Department and Federal Benefits. Children and spouse can attend State College tuition free, and spouse is offered training if needed to begin a new life. I do not know of anyone active in law enforcement who would not know to get this information from the National Law Enforcement Officers Memorial Fund, The California Law Enforcement Memorial Down Page is also helpful.
Also there is a group called the 100 Club that immediately presents families with assistance.
To find a legitimate support group for wives, I would contact Concerns of Police Survivors.
Most legitimate organizations are registered non profits in whatever state they are based. In California, the registration for the non profit status is 501(c)3, and you can also donate when you file your federal income tax, and you will know exactly where your money is going.
Wendi R.
Discovery Bay, Ca
2S326x
Joined: Mar 2008
Current Posts: 435
Sounds like someone making an illegal living.
Joined: Oct 2008
Current Posts: 47
I think there may be more to this. It will eventually wash out. Just always be vigilant,
Joined: Nov 2009
Current Posts: 1
I find it so hard to believe, me being a Police Officer's wife that anybody would knock a group of Police Wives trying to help families of Fallen Officer's. What is so wrong with that and why are you so against it? I'm all for every group that helps police officer's, all of them. This is a real legitimate support group, we are real police officer's wives, I've known these ladies for a few years. Ohhhh and my husband has been a K9 officer here in Jacksonville, Fla for 9 years and an LEO for 13 years. Maybe you should check out our website sometime.....
Joined: Mar 2008
Current Posts: 435
There are a whole lot of people being very defensive which I find to be a trait of people not on the up and up. If you have nothing to defend because you are legal and above board then I suggest you let it be. The more you rant and rave the worse you look.
On these forums any one can claim to be anything. Another reason for people to be suspicious.
Joined: Jul 2008
Current Posts: 30
Our total donations since opening our site has been a whopping $135 in over a year. I'm not sure where you're from but $135/yr is not what I would call "making a living", especially since I've spent at least 5 times that amount for purchasing condolence cards, postage, buying extra security for the site to insure all our members identification is not compromised, hiring others to help install new mod's and the cost to have our site hosted by a 3rd party host site.
So, if any of you naysayers ARE leowives, ask your spouse how well your accusations without supporting data would hold up in a court of law.
I welcome any of you leowives to visit our site and see for yourselves what we're all about.
There are several support sites, like ours, for the wives of law enforcement officers. I consider myself good friends with the owners of two of these sites and we do occasionally work together for the common good. I don't see them as competition, nor do they see me as such. We have the same goal, which is to help law enforcement families. Those of you who throw out accusations without supporting evidence sound like sour grapes who see us as some kind of threat and jump on the band wagon without taking a moment to see and/or ask what we're all about. Guilty until proven innocent is not what our country is about, nor is it what our husbands work so hard to support.
I'm still just shaking my head in disbelief.
Joined: Oct 2008
Current Posts: 47
Jennifer became a survivor when her husband, Kentucky ABC Agent Brandon Thacker, was killed on April 16, 1998. Jennifer was one of KY COPS' founding members.
She can easily explain the diff between COPS and wives groups;
Joined: Nov 2009
Current Posts: 6
Luke711 - your comment is unfounded, untrue and defamatory.
Joined: Nov 2009
Current Posts: 5
Have you even tried to take a look at that site,or contacted any of the Admins there?
How can you even make any such statements without even knowing anything about this site???
Dang,my daughter took her *coffee jar* to her Daddy's Station (Devision) and collected $60 bugs for *that* site.All of the Officer's LOVED that idea.
I also know where the money is going,since the Admin of that site provides proof of everything,plus I also have all the info ,Bank Account,etc. since the Admin wanted someone else to be able to look at everything.......
Personally I am ashamed that someone like you,or like you say you are,would *knock* someone for trying to help out LEO survivors ,WITHOUT even checking out that site,etc..
BTW,I AM a police wife,married ,3 kids ......wanna try and tell me now,I'm not for *real*????
Also, I left a *police wives site*,because I knew the money raised,did not go,were it was intended to go ....some other sites,well, started for the wrong reasons and are still run for the wrong reasons....
Joined: Nov 2009
Current Posts: 6
I am one of two UK members of LEO Wives and have been a member for over a year now. I can assure you that this group is a legitimate one, and frankly, I find your comments rather insulting. LEO Wives does exactly what it says on the tin - it offers friendship and support to the wives of serving Police Officers. I myself have benefited a great deal from that support. I have never been asked to contribute towards the running of the site, and I can assure you that any donations collected are passed onto the people, groups or charities that they are intended for. Any member of the site has access to the running balance of the WINGS bank account through the forum, and site Admin will show banking receipts to anyone that asks. If you speak to site Admin yourself, I am confident you will see what a wonderful and above all, honest group we are. I suggest that in future, you check your facts more throroughly before posting unhelpful comments.
Joined: Jul 2008
Current Posts: 30
And the posts that question our legitimacy have obviously not taken the time to either contact me personally, nor have they gone to our site to see for themselves.
When I first started LEOWives.com, I tried a number of times to contact C.O.P.S in an effort to make our donations to them as an effort to work with them because, as a new site, our donations were really not enough to contribute to families directly, but if we could combine our donations with those of C.O.P.S, to make a smaller difference. We weren't even looking for recognition, just an opportunity to help.
My husband has been in law enforcement for 8 years and the thought of trying to rip people off is offensive and I would be very careful about the libel in your statements.
I'm well aware that there are groups out there who ARE looking to rip others off, but before calling them out on a public forum, I would do my homework and make an effort to contact the member, either by personal e-mail, PM, or coming directly to our site to see for myself. The link to my site is in my initial post. Do you really think I would put links to a site, especially for law enforcement families, if I were a rip off?
And YOUR facts and figures are incorrect. I got my figures directly from the NLEOMF.org website and if anyone cares to check these facts themselves, you can go directly to their site and click on the statistics link. It will open up to a very large page with these facts. You really should do your homework and were I a litigious person, I'd drag you to court for libelous statements. If my website were to suffer due to your statements, you would be held accountable. . Instead, I would rather take this opportunity to show you that we ARE a legitimate group of women just looking for support with other law enforcement wives and hoping to make a small difference with donations, however small.
Your comment about our group being illegitimate because we are not a 501(C)(3)/non profit organization is also without merit. I don't know if you were involved at all in getting the 501(c)(3) status, but it is a very expensive and lengthy process, typically taking up to a year. We've barely been up for that long. We have a tax I.D number, which I am more than happy to supply upon request and we are working to put everything in place to submit our application and have everything ready for approval before next Sept. at which time the fees will be increased by a little over 10% Our organization is NOT generating any income. As a matter of fact, I am paying out of pocket approx. $150 each month to keep the site running.
For you, or anyone else, to come in a public forum and spew out false accusations is just un-ethical. My original post has links to at least 3 legitimate organizations we are involved in.
Before posting something so libelous on a public forum, would it have been so difficult for you to send me a personal message with questions you have about our legitimacy? We are all working toward a common goal to help and support those in need and I hate to think your comments are supported by the owner(s) and/or board members of C.O.P.S so I will take the high road and take comfort in the fact that I have done all I can to provide you with the information you may need to change your mind. If that isn't enough, I am sorry for you and those you represent.
Joined: Oct 2008
Current Posts: 47
Somehow my previous post missed my most important point which is that I feel that the Tee Shirts that say, "My next husband will be normal." Legitimate SUPPORT groups exist to come to the aid of the entire family-to support the wives, the family and to match young members with veterans. Often just having someone to listen can help keep marriages together when you hear you are not alone.
THOSE SHIRTS ARE NOT FUNNY. NOR ARE THE SHIRTS THAT MAKE LIGHT OF MENTAL ILLNESS.
How would you feel if you had a member who struggled occasionally, and then they see another member wearing the 5150 shirt. Completely tasteless.
And to reiterate. the BEST way to donate money to the National Concerns of Police Survivors is on your Federal Tax Return when asked. It is a choice you can check and fill in an amount.
Just having a tax ID number is NOT, I repeat NOT the same as being a registered NON Profit. You must have a 501(3)(c) certification.
2S74x
Joined: Sep 2006
Current Posts: 1923
IRS would love to know her/his tax #
Joined: Mar 2009
Current Posts: 91
But yet you are using this forum to solicit "donations" for your organization?
And I also agree with the comments about the offensive tee shirts. These tee shirts would not come from an organization supportive of the law enforcement community.
Joined: Nov 2009
Current Posts: 6
I am the wife of a serving Police Officer in the UK. I have also suffered from depression (on and off) most of my adult life, so I feel qualified to respond to your comment. I do not find these t-shirts offensive, and I can assure you that I am extremely supportive of both my husband and the law enforcement community as a whole. I'm not quite sure where you're heading with this, but cannot see the harm in a little humour?
Joined: Sep 2006
Current Posts: 1923
Why do we need a password just to read your site? There is no other legitamate charity requiring passwords just to see their authenticity. Who are the sponsors or board of directors? I know we can pay by Paypal but where can we send contributions if we don't have a Paypal account?
edited to ask: What is your tax ID # so we can use it on our Income Taxes?
Joined: Mar 2009
Current Posts: 91
To The Times: This forum thread presents an opportunity for you. We all know there are supposed charities that do nothing but prey on people. Can you do an investigation into this alleged charity and present the resulting article in The Times?
Also, the leowives domain is registered to a company in Provo, Utah, and not to a non profit in Discovery Bay.
Joined: Nov 2009
Current Posts: 6
I am genuinely speechless that you even suggest such a thing, and I find your comments extremely insensitive, not to mention defamatory. I am a member of LEO Wives, and as I have stated in my previous post - I can assure you that we are a legitimate group which offers genuine friendship and support to the wives of serving Police Officers. To suggest that we prey on people is not only unfounded, but completely untrue. Again, I stress the point - please make sure you check your facts thoroughly before posting slanderous and throw-away comments on a public forum. Quite honestly, I find your comments rude!
Joined: Dec 2005
Current Posts: 1247
@mum...
why don't you just provide the requested info? if that is all legit, it's a great thing to do.
while looking at your web site, i could not find any address, or contact name nor any info about the stated not for profit org.
doing a reverse phone number search (877-809-1659) , looks like that:
Houseblvd.Com Real Estate Marketing Apparel
street address not available
Woodland Hills, CA 91364
(877) 809-1659
I will keep my GUNS, my FREEDOM, my MONEY, you can keep the CHANGE
Joined: Nov 2009
Current Posts: 6
I am simply a member of LEO Wives, standing up for what I believe in (and I believe in LEO Wives.) As has been stressed before, please contact site Admin who I know will be happy to answer any questions.
Joined: Oct 2008
Current Posts: 47
First of all, (and this is getting tiresome) but you (whomever you are) ought to be seeing that you and your band of imposters are not getting the support you feel you feel you deserve. "Expertwitness" is right on the mark when he/she comments that most LEO groups DO spend a lot of their time and energy to raise most of their annual budget by having an annual crab feed. It is the only time we drag in the hubbies to help! Obviously if your group is nation wide, you would not need to raise the same amount of money because you would have a different Mission Statement. You would be part of a national organization; with by-laws, and certainly with no fundraisers that include coffee cans or distasteful tee shirts. Did you not think that there might not be any leo (retired!) who read these threads and would jump right on your very unprofessional and strange series of posts? Are you in such a small community that your wives group doesn't have things it can do in your own towns? Would you not do more good if you went gangbusters doing things like making and delivering some Thanksgiving meals to the Officers working on the "dog watch," and wouldn't get to have decent grub. I guess my message is that it's never good to want to be too much, LEARN from long est. organizations! I also agree with the comments about the offensive tee shirts. These tee shirts would not come from an organization supportive of the law enforcement community. yet you are using this forum to solicit "donations" for your organization? And if you do not live in our community, please stop posting, and concentrate your efforts in your own back yard. P.S. The statistics regarding line of duty for 2008 and 2009 through Oct come from NLEOMF and are correct. But why this seems to be your focus seems odd. It is how we separate those who have and those who have not lost.
I am tired of you and wish you well. But really, never think you can fool cops, even when you aren't expecting them.
Joined: Jul 2008
Current Posts: 30
Then why do you continue? We have offered you a number of opportunities to contact us, come see our site for yourself, speak with me personally. You choose to continue your libelous behavior and call our members imposters.
You offer all kinds of suggestions as to how YOU feel we can be more productive in our own communities, bringing dinners to our local departments on Thanksgiving, etc. Many of us DO those very things, but then again, you wouldn't know that would you? You continue to speak without knowledge and spew out insults without supporting information.
Interesting that you're quick to call us out and we're bending over backwards to try and prove our legitimacy yet we have NO idea who you really are. YOU could very well be the imposter. Hmmmm food for thought.
I've said all I care to say because, as you've pointed out (and the ONLY thing I agree with you on), this IS getting very tiresome. I will, as I promised, be in touch with the Presidents (present, not past) of each chapter of the COPS organization tomorrow. You're simply one very small tadpole in an ocean, if that, and I choose to now ignore you. I refuse to have a war of wits with an unarmed person because we are better than that and we are MUCH better than you.
Joined: Nov 2009
Current Posts: 6
This will be my last reply to this thread. The ONLY thing I can agree with Wenbru on is that it is a tiresome one. I am a proud member of LEO Wives, and we as a group have been attacked by someone who knows NOTHING about us and has absolutely NO evidence to back up their claims. To add insult to injury, others who know NOTHING about us have chimed in and given us their expert opinion on a group that again, they know NOTHING about. I have been the wife of a serving Police Officer for 12 years, I know who I am, what I stand for and what I believe in. If you wish to question my honesty, or the honesty of my friends, then feel free. It is your democratic right. But Wenbru, if you really are a copper - then shame on you.
Joined: Jul 2008
Current Posts: 30
Expertwitness~ I have never claimed to be in Discovery Bay. As a matter of fact, I have never said anything about where we are located. If you do your homework you will find that the IP address comes back to Provo Utah because that's where the host site we use is from and it's a shared server.
I have also never claimed to be "non Profit". We have been working toward that goal, but as I said, it takes a lot of money and time.
I will save the rest of my comments until I've read more of the inflammatory comments so I can address them all.
Joined: Mar 2008
Current Posts: 435
Why is the title of this thread "Business owners in Discovery Bay and the surrounding areas" if you are not trying to put something over on someone.....not being from here?
Joined: Aug 2009
Current Posts: 22
Wenbru,
My wife is a member of leowives and this is a site exclusively for the wives. It is a forum for them to share ideas, to help each other when a member's husband has been through a traumatic experience, and humor amongst themselves. The members are from across the US and including members from other countries which goes to show that the law enforcement profession has more similarities than dissimilarities when compared to agencies of other nations.
COPS is a great organization as well as others such as the 100 club and the 11-99 foundation. But to automatically throw suspicion at a truly wonderful group of women who share a common bond without doing any investigating before writing on this forum is truly premature.
As far as the "My next husband will be normal" T-shirt, I personally as a cop find it hilarious because when you really think about it, what normal person would want to deal with catching criminals, getting frivolous complaints of misconduct, exposing our lives to danger daily....AND IT SURE ISN'T FOR THE MONEY!
Try comparing the T-shirt to actual "cop humor". The saying on the "T" is very mild to the actual humor those of us on the streets have and do use to deal with the daily crap which most of society is too afraid to handle, hence the need for us "abnormal" ordinary people doing an extraordinary job.
Just like cops do... you should have done a little homework before you condemn and pass judgement on a group of supportive wives. I'm sure this wasn't done in malice and as a cop I understand your concern of fraudulent groups / charities which try to scam the public out of their hard earned money, but this just isn't the case.
For the wives of LEO's, the leowives is a forum for them to chat about any subject they want such as children, recipes and what ever women like to chat about. I would imagine that the leowives website has helped their members get through the stormy weather for those "bumps" in their personal relationships and the times when their husbands may be having a "bump" professionally which in most cases affects their personal lives.
The statistics of LEO's killed in the line of duty is not what this is about. Any line of duty death is too much. You can go to several sources (as you mentioned) and the FBI stats and people will still come up with different numbers.
The administrator of leowives has started a great forum and she is an honest and professional business woman who is looking out for other LEO wives. Do you honestly think that you could talk about a personal problem related to your husband's career or just being the wife of a cop to a person not in the law enforcement community and think they could relate or would truly understand, I doubt it.
A portion of the website is open to the public, but to have full access you need to become a verified member, which is a way of filtering out those persons who don't qualify for membership. You just have to be a verified wife of a LEO.
I cannot tell you if leowives is a 501(c)(3) organization, and despite that, they are legitimate group of women who are proud of their men.
As for the 5150 thing. It's not meant as a dig to those who have emotional problems, it's humor because when you think about it I guess we LEO's are a bit 5150 to get into this profession as well as our wives who may be a bit 5150 for marrying us and putting up with our careers.
You wrote it best yourself, "Most legitimate organizations are registered non profits in what ever state they are based." Based on your statement I can conclude that not all legitimate organizations are registered non profits in what ever state they are based.
The definition of legitimate; 1. being exactly as purposed, neither spurious nor false. 2. Lawful: authorized, sanctioned by, or in accordance with law.
Lastly as a member / representative of C.O.P.S. I'm am appalled by your belittling and unjustified comment of, "To find a legitimate support group for wives, I would contact Concerns of Police Survivors."
I didn't know that there was one supreme Law Enforcement Support Group which all others fell beneath. My belief was that they are all equal, some more established than others.
In my opinion, you rushed to judgement on your post.
You know what they say about "opinions" and if you haven't heard, opinions are like butt holes, everybody has one and they usually stink.
Felix
Joined: Jul 2008
Current Posts: 30
I'm going to try one more time to address all the questions, accusations, etc. because I feel we deserve it.
"There are a whole lot of people being very defensive which I find to be a trait of people not on the up and up. If you have nothing to defend because you are legal and above board then I suggest you let it be. The more you rant and rave the worse you look.
We are defensive because we are passionate about what we do and our efforts to provide support, friendship and in time, a little money to donate to those leo families in need.
To find a legitimate support group for wives, I would contact Concerns of Police Survivors.
I have to wonder if your post and libelous comments aren't a skewed attempt at drawing people from our site to yours. I would never take shots at another organization who is working hard to benefit leo families in need without fact checking first. I'll be sure to get in touch with the board of directors for COPS in the morning to find out if this is supported by them as an organization or if it's just one member who has an ax to grind.
There is also another group based in Martinez, open to any spouse of a law enforcement officer. This group is also a non-profit 503(c)(3) organization with its own set of rules and goals. It also is fully supported by both donations and an annual crab feed.
Have you checked with this other organization to ask them how long and expensive the process was for them to obtain the non-profit status? A crab feed is a great idea if all your members are local. We reach across the globe so this type of fundraising would not work for us. Why you find the need to compare us to other sites is beyond me.
Somehow my previous post missed my most important point which is that I feel that the Tee Shirts that say, "My next husband will be normal." Legitimate SUPPORT groups exist to come to the aid of the entire family-to support the wives, the family and to match young members with veterans. Often just having someone to listen can help keep marriages together when you hear you are not alone.
Actually, this t-shirt is one of our biggest sellers because, as Felix pointed out, we have to throw a little humor in the mix and when the humor is poked at us and not others it's all in good clean fun. Again, another example of how you've failed to do your homework because I actually got this idea from a few of the other LEGITIMATE sites for wives of leo's. Your comment about making light of mental illness is a stretch. I would never dare call someone with a mental illness "abnormal" As a matter of fact, I have a son with bipolar, so I find your comment offensive.
Just having a tax ID number is NOT, I repeat NOT the same as being a registered NON Profit. You must have a 501(3)(c) certification.
Thank you for pointing out the obvious. I only mentioned the tax ID number to show that we are in the process of becoming a non-profit organization.
IRS would love to know her/his tax #
I'm pretty sure they do in as much as they are the one's I obtained it from, but I would be more than happy to provide it to anyone who asks.
But yet you are using this forum to solicit "donations" for your organization?
Is there a law against soliciting donations unless you're a non-profit organization? Is there a law against an effort to help those in need in any way we can?
And I also agree with the comments about the offensive tee shirts. These tee shirts would not come from an organization supportive of the law enforcement community.
Again, take a look at the online stores from some of the other "legitimate" organizations who have the same type of verbiage on their items.
Why do we need a password just to read your site? There is no other legitamate charity requiring passwords just to see their authenticity.
You will not be able to access ANY of the other support groups for LEO Wives without a password. You may be able to see their front page, but would never be allowed into their forums. If you WERE able to access their forums without proper credentials, I would be concerned for the legitimate members safety. We require this information so we know who is who and so we can protect the members of our site from others who lurk and attempt to do harm to families of law enforcement officers. We are not like other groups who gather to share scrapbooking ideas, etc. We take the safety, security and privacy of our members and their families very seriously, which is why I also paid an additional $200 to our host site for additional security.
Who are the sponsors or board of directors? I know we can pay by Paypal but where can we send contributions if we don't have a Paypal account?
If you were to go to our site and open the Verification Process board, you will find a physical address to where donations can be sent.
To The Times: This forum thread presents an opportunity for you. We all know there are supposed charities that do nothing but prey on people. Can you do an investigation into this alleged charity and present the resulting article in The Times?
We welcome the free publicity. We have nothing to hide and I am willing to open our books/site to anyone with the proper credentials to show they are either a member of the media and/or legitimate leo wife.
why don't you just provide the requested info? if that is all legit, it's a great thing to do.while looking at your web site, i could not find any address, or contact name nor any info about the stated not for profit org.
doing a reverse phone number search (877-809-1659) , looks like that:
Houseblvd.Com Real Estate Marketing Apparel
(877) 809-1659
I have no idea where you got that phone number, but it certainly isn't ours. We've never had a toll free number and I have given my personal cell phone number to anyone who wants it. Our address is located on our site in the forum "Verification Application Process. I have offered my personal cell phone number to any of our members;however I do not post it in a section open to guests for security reasons as well as cost.
I think I've answered all questions to this point and, again, offer you an invitation to enter our site as a guest. Honestly, do you think if I were trying to raise money for my own pocket, I would go to all this effort? Opening a website/forum that costs approx. $75-100/mth to keep up? Would I go to the trouble of sending condolence cards, along with a business card for additional support to the families of lost leo's? And, most of all, do you REALLY think I would be married to a leo and put his career on the line?
Yes, I AM defensive because this is a cause I feel strongly about. The question was once asked about why we are limited to only wives of leo's. Well, first of all, it's because the shared experiences, troubles, insecurities, stories, fear and friendships can only truly be found in another leo wife. We could open it up to all family members, but we choose not to and are happy to redirect anyone who is looking for that type of site and doesn't fit our criteria, to another site run by a friend of mine.
I can tell you of at least 3 other sites dedicated to wives/families of leo's who charge either a monthly fee for membership, and/or a fee for the staff to make and store avatars, and/or an additional fee for verified members. I have said from the very beginning that I would not do that. I don't come after those sites who DO charge fees and call them out. Every site owner has the right to charge or not charge fees and I'm angry that my efforts to keep our members because of the love the support they get and not because I'm afraid to lose a monthly fee.
As leo wives, we are constantly defending our husbands and the jobs they do to all the cop haters out there. I never thought we'd have to defend our little support group to all the naysayers who can't/won't take the time to check us out and/or contact me directly to ask the questions rather than use a public forum to slam us with incorrect information and/or an attempt to pull members from our site to recruit them for their own.
We are members of Police Link, NLEOMF, and I have personally made donations on the site's behalf from my own pocket.
If reading all of this any of you still have questions, I would be happy to answer them, but I prefer not to air all the negativity on a public forum. You can reach me at admind@leowives.com and I would be happy to then provide you with my personal number. I have nothing to hide and, quite personally, am very tired and emotionally drained, trying to defend the good we're trying to do.
Joined: Oct 2008
Current Posts: 47
Our week in Washington, D.C. as survivors in 2002 cemented in our hearts the commitment we made to care for our widow and her young son. And we were greatly helped by the difference sessions to which we attended. I stand by my research and have been sending this thread to the NORCAL COPS past President, and her advice (she is a wise woman) is that I let this go because obviously there are plenty of people who can stay on this project. My health makes is difficult to continue, but I had to make the most obvious corrections. And my husband is grateful to be retired after reading what he called this thread beneath my responsibiliy and health. Regardless, wear your vest and be safe. Even differing opinon doesn't mean I do want you to be safe.
Joined: Oct 2008
Current Posts: 47
As a CIRT and initial response monitor, along with running more reception halls and helping more grieving families than I would like to ever have known about, I find it typical of a certain type of Officer who do not consider their partner as an important part of the law enforcement family. Also, many of the wives in our group are also Officers, so I do not know what you would like us to discuss, but never recipes or carpeting. We are professional women, and have spent a total of years sitting in criminal courts with our members who have lost a loved one. We do not have time for whatever it is you must think we do. And we have told everyone we know to be on the look out for strange fundraising tactics, but no one would wear those tee shirts, and we support ourselves. Maybe you can keep reading and learn a little more about how to raise money. All the best to you. 2S74x
"For the wives of LEO's, the leowives is a forum for them to chat about any subject they want such as children, recipes and what ever women like to chat about."
Joined: Nov 2009
Current Posts: 5
I'm sorry Wenbru.....but the way you are *acting* towards the wives of LEO's is just plain sickening.I just do hope,if you really do what ever you say you do,that you show a bit more courtesy towards these families.....
Must be pretty lonely being so bitter.....
I'm for one very glad to have a group,where I can talk to them about everything,from OIS,to an Officers death (close friend of ours).And I already know,these wonderful ladies will be my support system ,when my husband will be gone for a few month thru military service.
BTW,many of our members are also professional women........
Joined: Aug 2009
Current Posts: 79
I find it interesting that both groups, COPS and LEOwives claim to support LEO yet it would SEEM that "Wenbru" has chosen to get into a pissing match about whose group is better. This makes no sense as I don't see where anyone stated they were better than COPS.
It would appear the women of "Leowives" had good intentions in collecting donations for LE but "wenbru" took an incorrect swipe at them for being shady or illegal. You need to take a step back and realize you were wrong and stop being defensive about which group is better. "Leowives", it would appear, is at least doing SOMETHING to support LE and to launch such a needless attack on them for for doing something positive when EVERYONE is anti-Law Enforcement these days is totally beyond me. "Leowives" SHOULD have been steered down a path that would've been beneficial to both the COPS organization as well as LE in general. IMHO, "wenbru" could have represented COPS better in this fiasco.
It would appear based on the posts and my research on BOTH groups that they BOTH serve a USEFUL purpose for those that choose to utilize their services. If wives of LEO's want to band together and exchange recipes or support each other with the trials and tribulations of being the spouse of a LEO then so be it. "Wenbru" represents that she has zero interest in such a group and she doesn't have to be a member if she so chooses.
From the outside looking in "wenbru", you chose to make an accusation that turns out to be incorrect as the LEOwives group (being new and not as established as COPS) does look to be a legitimate group of women that were simply trying to do a good deed or something positive towards LE. They may not be as RECOGNIZED as COPS but at one point COPS too was a fledgling group and they struggled for legitimacy. Tell me "wenbru", but are there people storming the doors at COPS trying to do positive things for LE? You and I BOTH know the answer to that.
It would appear "LEOwives" is not looking to supplant COPS OR serve the LEO community in the way COPS does. Don't indict them as a group because they TRIED to do a good deed. "Wenbru" could have directed them in a much more professional manner to allow them to succeed in helping our LE community OR COPS in general. "Wenbru", it would appear you missed a great opportunity to assist our LE community and that is a shame. Also, I know that the general nastiness displayed by "wenbru" on this board is not one I'm sure would be be embraced by Jennifer Thacker as being representative of her collective group of COPS members.
As it is always good to be vigilant and aware of possible scams these days but once it's obvious that it would appear that this is not the case (as scam artists don't usually stick around and argue their legitimacy as they usually run to the darkness instead of the light) it would have been nice to see someone that claims to represent such a fine organization as COPS act like the professional she claims to be and use the opportunity for something POSITIVE.
I would hope LEOwives takes the advice of many on this forum and do what they need to do in order to be viewed as "legitimate" by the "experts" on these boards OR stick to what you have already been successful in doing by connecting the wives of police officers all over the world in comfort and support of each other. It would appear you all got a taste of what happens when your caring group of police "wives" goes up against the "big business" of "legitimate" special interest groups. It's sad they lost sight of where they came from but it is what it is.
This is a good example of "NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED!!"
I hope both groups can move on from this as this argument as it's totally uncalled for. This was a clear example of an opportunity missed and OUR Law Enforcement community is the group that suffers.
Joined: Nov 2009
Current Posts: 5
Wenbru....what do you mean by your comment .." I find it typical of a certain type of Officer who do not consider their partner as an important part of the law enforcement family."
And your comment...."and we support ourselves"
Joined: Aug 2009
Current Posts: 22
My comment about discussing children, recipes and whatever, might have been a faux paux on my part as the post was written from a man's perspective. And just because leowives allows it's members to talk about anything they feel is important does not make them less professional nor does it lessen their commitment to support the wives of LEO's.
I can tell by your continuous spewing and attempts to discredit leowives that it would appear to me that still you haven't taken the time to do any research on your own.
Had you taken the high road from the beginning it sure would have prevented you from showing your true sentiment. It seems to me and it would appear to some that your opinion may appear as if you're not a part of COPS you aren't part of anything worth while.
Had I been a member of COPS I would actually be embarrassed and ashamed of the baseless and false accusations you and others have made toward leowives. I still believe that COPS is a great organization and will not base my opinion of them based on your behavior on this forum.
The one true thing you have accomplished by your factually unsupported statements is that you did no research into the matter, nor was there ever any attempt on your part as a representative of COPS to even attempt to learn and befriend the wonderful supportive wives of leowives. Abit5150 has not once on this thread belittled nor slandered COPS.
I hope in my heart of hearts that no law enforcement family will ever need the aid of COPS, but we do not live in a perfect world and thankfully there are organizations such as the one you so embarrassingly represent and others to be there when tragedy strikes and we lose another "one of our own".
Joined: Nov 2009
Current Posts: 5
BTW,if you would bother and check out some of the other Police Wives sites,like Wives Behind the Badge,Policewives.org,Arresting Hearts,ETC. you would find,that ALL of them have those offensive T-shirts.....
Joined: Nov 2009
Current Posts: 1
Wenbru~
I cannot tell you how many times I have read through your posts to try to figure out what you could possibly be thinking to spread such negativity. Had your intention been to remind people that there are fraudulant organizations out there and to make sure everyone does their reaserch before joining and/or donating to them then your point would have been better served had you just stated that. Trust but verify...as LEO wives we would have applauded you. Instead, without doing any reaserch of your own you decided to cast a shadow on a group you know nothing about while implying that because YOU have never heard of it, it must be a sham. I am not one to ever justify such ignorance with a response but you seem to be oblivious to the damage you could be doing.
Your husband is now retired (please thank him for his service) however, there are many women just starting on the journey of being a police wife and searching for a place where they can find support. I am the wife of a LEO and am thankful that when I was searching for support that I did not find myself reading your words as they would have done nothing but discourage me. LEOwives is a wonderful group filled with amazing women that want nothing more than to support eachother and help our community any way we can.
Joined: Oct 2008
Current Posts: 47
"Concerns of Police Survivors provides resources to assist in the rebuilding of the lives of surviving families and affected co-workers of law enforcement officers killed in the line of duty as determined by Federal Criteria. Furthermore, C.O.P.S. provides training to law
enforcement agencies on survivor victimization issues and educates the public of the need to support the law enforcement profession and its survivors."
El Gato Felix,
The paragraph above is the only thing I was trying to use to differentiate the wonderful wives/spouse groups from CONCERNS OF POLICE SURVIVORS, because membership in the group is primarily for survivors of LODD. I had been in the wives group for awhile before my husband's partner was killed in the line of duty. This is when a rep from COPS stepped in to make sure that my husband and I (along with the rest of our small department) were properly debriefed, and we were matched with longer surviving folks to whom we could turn for support. We were escorted to the huge funeral service, rode in the motorcade and promised our widow and friend that we would always be there for her family. The team on duty that night are family by virtue of tragedy. And many of us attended the trials every single day with our widow, as a show of support. To be a COPS Board Member, you must be more than one year from your loss. To raise money we sell COPS tees and ball caps. We provide those blue ribbons in May, and we do not use any other fund raising. The 100 Club (active Duty Law Enforcement cannot belong) steps in to provide immediate financial assistance to the family, and the team survivors are taken good care of by long time survivors and each other. We also were escorted to National Police Week when our Officer had his name added to the wall, and we had a week of activities tailored to the relationship with the Officer. While anyone can attend our quarterly meetings, primarily this group is consisted of those who are survivors.
Most of the members don't belong to other clubs because they are brothers and sisters and mothers, grandparents, and children. So the groups to not compete in any way.
My only goal is to clear this up. And to let people know that while I might not have expressed my thoughts as well as I could have, I support all kinds of groups that help and entertain people. I just was not getting that folks understood the difference and the purpose of COPS vs. the social groups.
And, I do contribute. My speciality is to run the halls at services. The joke about me is that if you need 5,000 cups of coffee is 48 hours, call me and it's done. I have assisted at more services than I care to remember. And when we were being cared for I knew my mission would be to give back to the people who helped us.
We hope that no one ever has to go through what we did. It did change us, but it made us closer as a group, and gave us a mission to make sure that the wives groups knew how to make certain that they know about where the family financial and life insurance records are and that they have made a plan in case of emergency. We meet with resistance on occasion, but it is so important. Being prepared does not make you more vulernable.
So. wear your vest, gotta run. Hope this helps.
Joined: Oct 2008
Current Posts: 47
To "abit5150" Shall I try again, (to be nice, that is) while keeping my opinioin?
Wouldn't your life be easier if you raised money in your local area since you have clearly stated that you do not live in the community of Discovery Bay, Ca? There are a lot of Police and Fire Fighter families in our area, and in addition to an active bunch of recognized COPS Chapters, many Departments have their own wives/spouse/family groups already. And as I stated before, for some groups (Oakland, CA are CHP and the 391 club, the local 100 Club and CCCPOA as the larger clubs) there are many gals who may belong to more than one club. But we all know each other, and because our local wives club is over 50 years young, almost all of the Officers run into each other either in schools, on special assignment, or work together. We do not need drama or coffee cans to know, solve, understand or raise money ( a lot or a little, in a hurry or over time) The Departments with LODD over the last ten years generally still have memorials on the day of the loss, which is so good for the kids as they get to know about the parent, and the Officers get back so much more than they gave by knowing the kids and families. And they learn things, too! Like how it CAN take nearly all day to assemble the world's fanciest basketball hoop for your partners kid, who looks so much like him, and you can nearly hear his voice... With people being so busy, we have groups that meet all kinds of times, to accomodate school, baseball, some of the mom's work part time, etc
And our "Sunshine" Committee sends cards with checks to Departments all over the country when we learn of a loss. Lots of small checks can make a difference while people learn how to start to live again.
And the Outlet weekends are enormously popular, as are the Longaberger and Scrapbook parties. You need not scrap to come and chat.
And, to TRY to be fair, I called 10 friends today and not one thinks the coffee can, even in the squad room, because who knows who goes into some of them, is the right way to go. Some groups (C.O.P.S.) sell logo caps and Tee shirts, and things on their web set and at the store in D.C. Some groups hold raffles for, say, an Officer who is ill, with prizes donated from the community. It just looks better when you wear either your shirt or ball cap and carry your raffle tickets. And start with people you already do business with: your hair dresser, neighbors (who often WANT to help, but don't know how they can help) and of course, if you have an annual crab or spaghetti dinner, sell those raffle tickets, and get the best donated prizes you can get.
And there are many on line sites where you can make great shirts for your club-sell to anyone who wants one- meaning you make a patch, since it's not likely you can steal a Dept patch!
Order Lanyards for the kids ID thingies they wear now, or teddy bears (or ask for gently used teddy bear for the patrol cars) Make fliers to announce all meetings. Get to know the front office gals, and other Officers wives who may not be in a group. You might be someone's life saver, you never know. Take Crime Prevention "goodies" when/if you travel internationally as it can be great fun and a great way to get that "private" tour of whatever...
And, Lastly, the most important thing we did was to always keep the phone tree active, and make hubby bring home a roster copy so if someone calls to ask for him, we know whether or not we really have to wake him up! (Yes, Sir, Chief, he's RIGHT HERE :)
And, I do exist, and am as easy to find as a full moon! And I say the same things whether I have been ID'd or not as I am very active in neighborhood activities and my family lives in the same gated golf community (retired) as nearly half of the cops we knew and worked with.
You have to comb your hair just to make a milk run, you're sure to run into SOMEONE!!! While I am still a little confused about the group you are starting, because it doesn't need be so complicated, I would sure ask your best friends for financial support, or even sponsorship from whatever state Police Wives group you would fall in with. Or have those parties and use the proceeds as long as you need the money.
Best wishes and stay safe,
Wendi R.
"If you would be willing to allow us to put a "coin can" in your business, we would greatly appreciate it."